Valentines DAY.. How to!! FOR MY BROS..

Valentine’s Day is around the corner. Whether you wanna woo your boo, asking someone new out on a date or you are in a mood to get laid; take these tiny tips from your bro. A few lines of man-to-man talk.

1. Remove all deodorants from your closet today. Get a cologne/perfume, a good one looking at your budget (The best one I can suggest as it’s my all season good to go: DAVIDOFF COOL WATER). Before you meet her, a mild spray near back of your neck & earlobes. Don’t ask why!! Your girl deserves a well groomed person who values styling & smelling nice.

2. 4 days left for your date night, I mean 14th February night. Right after you wake up every single day from now, grind a big piece of ginger, add some warm water to it & drink it without thinking taste. Ginger is a natural thermogenic antioxidant & it helps to correct the amount of blood flow to overall body parts including your downstairs department. Now you know why.

3. Clean your bush & make sure to apply some extra virgin olive oil to stay away from unnecessary body odours. Get some nice boxer shorts as well.

4. Understand the importance of keeping it classy yet low-key while dressing up for special occasions. Wear a sleek wristwatch, dial not bigger than 42mm. Just for one day, ditch your sports shoes or Balenciaga Triple-S kinda moonwalkers.

This is a screenshot from my Instagram stories. I usually do this social service every year to some stupid friends.

Last tip: Own who you are for real. When you are talking to your partner or future-partner, make sure you lie/hide nothing. Be blunt about what you want from yourself & from the other side as well. A truthful person is hard to resist & people take no time to get intimidated. Tap OUT..💪👍

True me.. Tap-202..

Soon or sooner I am buying a bitch with tons of adore for my bedroom adventures, hell YES I wanna pump two babies inside her by 2022 or 2023.

Tap OUT..😜

Tap my thoughts.. 183..

Dumping a new bitch & another old high school mate till 2020. I don’t want to entertain such assholes who look for vegan food in KFC. Dorky punks!!

Tap my thoughts.. 173..

Her head & heart both are clean like a innocent baby, when your bitch wants to have crispy bacon & syrup for snacks while sipping Martini/Cocktail. Don’t miss a chance, MARRY HER.

True me.. Tap-193..

Jim Rohn says “YOU ARE AVERAGE OF YOUR FIVE CLOSEST FRIENDS”.

In that case, I am in a big dilemma. Coz now a days I have three closest friends & one bitch I wanna woo, still one person short. Ha Ha.

Tap OUT..😂

Grumpy Asshole..🤪

My expression to bestie while getting pampered “bitch you so jelo”. (Need to work a lot on my triceps, time to get rid of wine-dine trips.)

Demi, you are the biggest support in my pursuit of happiness. No Thanks for being my best friend. I cherish you. Uploading this pic while my bestie bitch was eating my brain during facetime. Whatever written here are pure nonsense & have nothing to do with the pic above.😜

Dumb Demi: I need your Help!!

Whenever I say “my bitch”, only one person gets supremely excited because there is a “MY” in it. The bitch I am talking about is my saviour. I never needed her support, but she shown up & kicked my ass to move ahead quickly swiftly successfully towards happiness. I am talking about “my bestie bitch-Demi”.

Whenever we connect, her words are more like two grade-3 kids planning how to build a sand-castle near a beach. Though I am just 4.67billion times mature compared to her, I always end up joining that stupid idea. Friends ask me more about her, I answer this about who she is; “Clean heart, Clear mind, unaware of wtf is EGO & LIE, Dad’s credit card after spending own salary”. Whatever it may be, you are True & Yes I am buttering you little bit right now. Get me that 1800-supreme hoodie latest drop (Dark olive or Heather Grey Please). I will let you spank my butt twice in exchange.

Apart from all: you put me to the right place when I was collapsing to pieces. No thank you for being my bestie. But thank you in advance for that hoodie. If you aren’t able to fly, please ask me my new address to mail that shit.🤗😘