We are the worst duo ever. When I want to surf, she wants to shop. When I want to eat, she wants to empty the entire bottle of booze. When I want to workout, she wants to go stargazing. When I want to watch Tom & Jerry, this bitch literally wants to know everything about Marvel cinematic universe that too from my mouth & suddenly starts fighting with me over which pizza tastes the best or why black pudding is the shittiest thing in a full monty breakfast. The summary of this entire post is; I got a real good bimbo as my bestfriend since forever, let’s say since past 530 years.
Can’t finish this post without thanking DEMI for being there to handle this 76 kilo huge baby monster named TAP. Congratulations for your master’s degree, I wasn’t expecting you can clear backlogs this year as well fr. But 2020 is a surprising menace, so is your interest in studies. I am happy they cancelled university ball, I hated those dance rehearsals over facetime. Keep slaying and I hate it when you use my apartment like your dad’s credit card. Btw you must consider returning your dad’s credit card back to him. Swear i will not be single for long, so please get a guy for yourself. Here’s my sweet slap to your all 4 cheeks. Congrats again. You are adored, always. I have taken a long time to figure out “I wanna wow/woo someone”, FYI my future boo will totally hate our equation. Have a good one. Muuaaahhh..😙
In short; not just bestfriends, Demi is the broccoli of my meal. Everyone knows one edible thing I hate is BROCCOLI, but I am eating 2 minutes microwaved broccoli in my each meal since ages.
Whenever I say “my bitch”, only one person gets supremely excited because there is a “MY” in it. The bitch I am talking about is my saviour. I never needed her support, but she shown up & kicked my ass to move ahead quickly swiftly successfully towards happiness. I am talking about “my bestie bitch-Demi”.
Whenever we connect, her words are more like two grade-3 kids planning how to build a sand-castle near a beach. Though I am just 4.67billion times mature compared to her, I always end up joining that stupid idea. Friends ask me more about her, I answer this about who she is; “Clean heart, Clear mind, unaware of wtf is EGO & LIE, Dad’s credit card after spending own salary”. Whatever it may be, you are True & Yes I am buttering you little bit right now. Get me that 1800-supreme hoodie latest drop (Dark olive or Heather Grey Please). I will let you spank my butt twice in exchange.
Apart from all: you put me to the right place when I was collapsing to pieces. No thank you for being my bestie. But thank you in advance for that hoodie. If you aren’t able to fly, please ask me my new address to mail that shit.🤗😘
You know who can screw each of my lines easy peasy. Demi, I want to tell you one thing from the bottom of my heart: “sometimes I lose my shit & sometimes I lose my breath, while checking out your ass & attitude.” You are a weirdly ridiculous pain to me & I can’t do anything about that. We always come back to each other where we left. No matter how big of a bitch you are, I adore/appreciate you for being bestie to this asshole named Tap.😘
Two people will understand this text fully.
Sorry Granny. You will always be my third wheel.😉
Yeah, nice Punjabi track. Let me explain it’s meaning to my non-brown mates. The girl’s hook of this song says:
“Promise today, you will buy me PRADA.
Or else keep staring at me from far away.
I will get a new lover easy peasy.”
Someone must have thought about my bestie bitch before writing this song’s lyrics. This can be the perfect GOLD DIGGER anthem.
SORRY Dumb Demi..
I adore you GRANNY..😂😘😘 muaaaaahhhh..
We pull each other’s hair & fight like monkeys sometimes. We are best friends & we broke up from that equation just 9 times in past 4 months. Either ways I adore you granny. I know you will always find your way back to me, or else I will reach you. We are together for a reason, I am not gonna stop disturbing you till one of us dies.😜
I wish you are lucky enough to enjoy this goodness.
Granny, you are the PROPER BEST FRIEND to this PROPER ASSHOLE named TAP.
Lucky to have a great bitch in my life who spams me with tons of text, calls, travel & meetings, as if I was her servant in past life(vice versa). I haven’t met anyone this true & pure. Someone whom I look upto, whenever I lose shit. I can literally share anything to everything. No fear of getting judged. I hardly have anything to hide anyways. My life is out & open. Whenever I mention bestie, it’s Demi & I deserve someone better for sure..😜😂
(Pic stolen from word porn)