Make mistakes. Dare to speak your truth. Pick your mate who can be your mirror. You don’t need God for forgiveness. You need a true person who can hear you, feel you & drag you out from darkness without judging you. Life is easy. Happiness is when you start being legit towards yourself.
Don’t stay stuck in your head thinking it’s safe, you are just lying to self. All deceptive & negative practices are definitely going to bite your butt soon or sooner.